Flippin Doctor

OK so, I was excited to log onto my blog today and see that my last post had a comment. Because really comments are the only way that I can tell if people are reading my little nuggets of wisdom. If no one is reading I may as well write a journal so that my family can pry the locks off of it when I am gone and remember why they are not sad that they did not get my humor. Anyway on to the comment. I think that it is just fine that that person is endorsing Viagra, and wants to pass it along to others. In some circles this is useful information, but this is MY blog and if you are going to sell such things on my blog, at least offer to give me a cut of the profits.

Onto today's order of business. I don't really look forward to much in my old age, I feel like I have seen and done so much what is left? Well alot, hello I am only 33! So a couple of weeks ago I was accompanying someone to my optometrist. Turns out that this someone needed to be seen by specialist. Andrea tells me " you will want to go to this appointment with so and so" Ok I say, I always go. She then states no you will want to go just to see the "foxy" (I think she said) doctor. Hello! I am in! I have been looking forward to today for long time. So he is hot and he is an eye doctor, BONUS! It just so happens that my best feature is my eyes so is he NOT not going to look at my eyes? Hell no, he is so going to look at my eyes probably call in the other male cute doctors to look at my eyes and then hire me as an eye model.....! And no I did not make a trip to Sephora just for new eye makeup perfume yes perhaps.

So I get up this morning and I am well rested. Turns out cucumbers only make you look like you should be relaxed but really just make you think that you look like an jackass, which you do. I come into my kitchen to yell at the kids, make my cup o Joe. Nathan is in here and I tell him I am taking so and so to the "HOT Doc" as I am now calling him. Aren't you jealous that he may sweep me off my feet and want me to run away with him I ask? He turns around with his suit jacket over his shoulder and tells me "Tell him he can have you." What?? This is the same response that my mom and dad would say each time I started dating someone. Tell him what?? No mention of a dowry splitting assets, custody or anything.

I also decided that I would set my eyes off with a good push up bra, you know do the right thing here since Nathan was OK with my leaving. I look down and I am sporting solid C cup as opposed to my B that I have worked so hard to get. That would be a B LONG mind you. Only thing is the lowest cut thing that I have is a turtle neck. Kind of pointless really. Actually I lied this whole paragraph is a lie. I do not have a push up bra and have not had one since college. I own lots of bras but nothing but a bra with scaffolding would pull these puppies up. I do have many many full coverage mommy bras. Did I tell you about the time that I bought my grandma a nursing bra on accident? I digress!

So Hot Doc enters the room: CRAP he is not hot! He is nothing, I mean he has great hair OK, he is married, so much for the steamy love affair on Nathan. He seems charming. Charming and Hot are NOT the same thing! I know charming. I am charming in my own wacko way. I know that I can be polite and nice and use my manners (and apparently write smut) but just because you can talk nicely to old people and chew with your mouth closed does not hot make you! I know that I have a good personality because on several occasions when my parents were trying to give me away to males (mind you HELLO was right there!) they tried to use the following selling points: she has great hair, she has good birthing hips, great personality and the best one "look at her eyes." As if they did not look at my eyes they would turn to stone. So I know the attributes of charming and well mannnered and while that is good in qualifying you as say a HUMAN, I think I will stick with Nathan.

See you Monday for our follow up HOT DOC!