Trekking Thru Target with Oprah

I watched Oprah yesterday. Ms. O was talking about mom's and all that moms have to deal with in their lives. The stressers of being "perfect" being "together" and not looking like we have just come from the underworld. And it struck me that each of the women that appeared on the panel, looked like she belonged in O magazine. I really think that in order to find real moms in their natural state they need to go to Target.

Oh and now I am just an At-Home Mom as opposed to a Stay at Home Mom. Because according to Ms. O Stay at Home mom's do not stay at home. We are the cornerstone of modern civilization and are therefore encouraged to mingle and mix with the mere mortal that roam- Wal Mart for instance. I remember working, very vaguely, a long time ago. Now I sit at a place that is NOT home and be a mom.

So since I have so much time on my hands-being a mom and all-I thought tat I would take in the crowd at Target. That, and I had to pick up some things for some chosen children. If you want to do a study in motherhood in its most natural form, go to Target between 9 and 11am any day of the week. It smells like pampers, they play the music of screaming babies and you are likely to be wearing vomit by the time that you leave. Not that you are not already wearing vomit seeing that you are a mother and all!

You can bare witness to all sorts of mothers. You have me for instance, the " I have kids at school mom" sporting sweat pants and a grin, because although I am purchasing things for my kids they are not with me and I am happy! You have the "Holy Crap I need diapers" mom who looks like she just got out of bed and needs a shot of espresso or brandy QUICK! The child that she remembered to remove from the car is still wearing clothes from last week. Then you have the "I am the Perfect mom" mom, who has taken a shower, has a full on face of make up, wears a name brand sweat suit just so that we know she has been working out, last week. She also has a matching diaper bag and purse because would Vera Bradley have it any other way, REALLY? She is the one that I think has a hidden nanny at home that puts her life together.

Then this is my favorite mom. The I am taking Motherhood super seriously. This mom, today, that I saw had ONE child. Yep only one. Had a cart, a purse ONE child and a BACKPACK! A backpack. What in the hell do you need a backpack in Target for? Is she planning on camping, moving into Target, did she have another child in the backpack. What in the world would you need a back pack for? If that was indeed her diaper bag she should hand that one to her husband, make him look like a camper and go buy a Vera Bradley.